THE WORDS I NEVER SHARED

When you are told you can’t, and you do it anyway

It’s funny how life works. All my life, I was told I wasn’t good at writing. And yet, 15 years later, I wrote and published a book, even in a language that isn’t my mother tongue. Writing was always my way of speaking, alongside dance. When I didn’t dare to speak out loud, when I felt I wouldn’t be heard, I wrote letters. So many letters. Pages filled with thoughts, emotions, and everything I couldn’t express verbally.

 

Words became my safe space

Even as a child, I loved writing poems. I enjoyed the challenge of finding rhymes, but even more, creating sentences that could touch something deeper, words that could awaken a soul. Because of my upbringing and the negative comments I received, I kept my writing to myself. I rarely shared it. Those words made me believe it wasn’t worth developing. Yet inside me, there was always so much to say. So many thoughts. So many questions. I constantly observed and analysed human behaviour, often wondering: Is this how it’s supposed to be? Why?
But no one seemed able to answer.

 

From chaos to clarity

For years, I carried these unanswered questions within me until 2017, when I began writing poems about them. Suddenly, the chaos in my mind turned into clarity. Writing started giving me the answers I had been searching for. Poetry became a powerful tool to release stagnant emotions, organise my thoughts, and find guidance whenever I felt lost.

My poems even became the starting point for my paintings. Before creating a new artwork, I often write a poem first, capturing an unspoken feeling or emotion, and then transform it into visual expression.

 

Pain became research. Research became a book

Four years ago, I decided to write a book. A book about how I healed myself.

In 2015, I became seriously ill, and it lasted for almost five years. At that time, I was just starting my career as an architect. Unfortunately, my body and mind could no longer keep up, and I was unable to work. During those years, I researched, explored, experimented, and tried to understand what the body, my body, truly needs in order to heal. This journey gave me knowledge that doctors and specialists had not been able to provide.

When my health improved dramatically in 2020, I initially wanted to write a small article to help others online. But life with a newborn, combined with lingering pain signals, still made long hours behind a computer impossible at that time.

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One story that refused to stay silent

Two years later, a friend invited me to share my story on her podcast because she felt it needed to be heard. While preparing for that interview, I started writing again, and I never stopped.

For a year and a half, I wrote continuously in my free time, until one day I was holding a 188 page manuscript in my hands. I found a publisher, and my book was born.

Today, it helps other women navigate their own healing journeys through the insights and tools I discovered along the way.

 

Writing healed more than I expected

I wrote this book from a primal urge to help others, to share awareness, knowledge, and hope. But the writing process also gave me answers I would never have found otherwise. It allowed me to close an intense, deeply transformative, and incredibly beautiful chapter of my life.

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